Benching” is a slang term for keeping someone as a romantic “backup option” while exploring other relationships. The person being benched is kept in a state of uncertainty, receiving just enough attention to maintain hope but not being a priority. This dating trend is similar to how a substitute athlete is kept on the bench during a sports game, ready to be used if other players are unavailable.
What “benching” looks like
A person is not your primary partner but you keep them around, often through sporadic texting or messaging. The “bencher” avoids making a serious commitment, keeping their options open for other potential partners. If other dating options don’t work out, the “bencher” may reach out to the person on the “bench”.
Why people “bench” others
Fear of being alone: They may avoid commitment to ensure they always have someone to turn to. Keeping options open: They are not sure what they want and don’t want to miss out on potential future partners. Avoiding conflict: They might not want to have a difficult conversation about ending things, so they let the other person down slowly.
How to deal with being “benched”
Communicate directly: Ask the person what they want and where they stand. Their response (or lack thereof) will provide closure.
Trust your intuition: If you feel confused, unsure, or that you’re not a priority, it’s a strong sign you’re being benched.
Prioritize your own needs: Don’t put your life on hold for someone who isn’t committed. Focus on your own happiness and well-being.
Move on: If the person is not treating you with respect or is keeping you as a backup, it is often best to cut contact and find someone who will value you appropriately.
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